10 Beautiful Tweets That Will Make You Book a Trip to Hydra, Greece Right Now. Written by Scott McGinnis | Goombay Tally | www.goombaytally.com | Hydra, Greece | Please contact us at [email protected] for feedback, writer and advertisement requests. For those that are unfamiliar with the Greek Islands — “Hydra” is one of the […]
5 Evil Tactics To Totally Screw With Your Nosy Neighbors.
Written by Goombay Tally Staff | Goombay Tally | www.goombaytally.com | Nosy Neighbors Humor | Contact us at [email protected] for comments, writing or advertising requests.
It’s probably safe to say that we’ve all had at least one irritating, nosy neighbor in the past if not currently. You know? That proverbial busy body hag or creepy guy across the street who always has the corner of their curtain or blinds cautiously and covertly peeled back just enough to see what you and your family are up to today. You can see their ominous shadow hiding behind the window, standing ever-ready to contact the HOA, local police department, or FBI at the slightest sign of illegal or nefarious activity.
Grant it, these people are absolutely worth their weight in gold when soliciting volunteers for your local Neighborhood Watch program, but these are also the same petty neighbors who make it a point to count the number of HOA-allowable days that you’ve expended when you park your camper or trailer in your driveway, or forget to cut your yard over the weekend … and so on.
Moreover, just as you peer out of your window to see who’s scoping you out — you see the quick curtain “pull back” action as they realize that they’ve been discovered. Annoying right? They’re intrusive and distrustful McCarthian-style trolls who have entirely too much time on their hands and (seemingly) use the weight of that time watching you. They are convinced that you and your family are either drug dealers, communists, ISIS sympathisers, mafioso, or all of the above.
Social psychologists suggest that the best way to deal with snooping neighbors is to be painfully direct and address the problem with them face-to-face. This involves letting your neighbors know that you are keenly aware of their activity and how it makes you and your family feel violated and uncomfortable. Although we tend to agree with this sage advice from a practical (O.K., let’s admit it…mature) perspective … we simply don’t see the entertainment value in that method and would like to suggest a few clever and creative ways to mitigate the nosy neighbor problem and have a little fun at the same time.
Courtesy of Howcast.com via YouTube
1. The T.A.P.S. Prank
I think most Americans are generally familiar with the hugely popular paranormal show T.A.P.S. (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) and could easily recognize their signature convoy of black SUVs speeding down the interstate towards their next paranormal investigation. Also adored with big white lettering that spells out their group name…you know that if you see three T.A.P.S. vehicles parked outside of your local historical hotel (for example), invariably there’s a lot more going on at that location than the continental breakfast and superb room service.
So why not use this existing stigma to freak out your snooping neighbors, while continuing to feed the rumor mill that you know they’re already perpetuating.
To pull off this prank, you will need a few of your trusted friends who happen to own black Suburban SUVs to fashion temporary “T.A.P.S.” signage on the side of the vehicles. Next, have your friends park in front of your house and pile out carrying boxes of cable cords, cameras, and tripods to add to the investigative effect of your “ghost hunters.” Of course, your neighbors won’t know that your friends are just coming over to watch a Golden State Warriors playoffs game — which will end sometime after midnight (EST) anyway. Your entertainment for the night will be watching sick Steph Curry crossovers and of course, watching your worried neighbors pace back and forward in front of their windows as your fake TAPS team “communicates with the spirits inside your home.” This prank will ensure that your nosy neighbors will never actually step foot onto your property in the future. Yep, the summer barbeque invite will be out of the question for sure.
Side Note: If All Else Fails, Shaming is Always an Old, But Oh So Powerful Tool.
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2. The Crime Scene Prank
Rest assure, no neighbor wants to wake up at 6 o’clock A.M. to peer out of their window at their neighbor’s house and see the yard and driveway draped with bright yellow Police crime scene tape. Let’s face it, making your house look like the opening scene from the television show Law and Order will spark more questions than an Alex Trebek Jeopardy marathon. If your neighbors open their windows to see “Ice-T” asking the neighborhood questions, it’s gonna be a long day right?
For this prank, just borrow some Police crime scene tape from your good-natured law enforcement buddy and steal your kid’s white chalk to draw the body outlines on your driveway for the final touches. Of course using tons of ketchup all over the driveway and front lawn will send your neighbor into pure hysterics.
3. Be The Overly Needy Neighbor
Most nosy neighbors don’t actually want to hold a meaningful or lengthy conversation with you or your family members any time soon … they simply enjoy the act of observing your daily activities from the shadows and safety of their homes. That said, another anti-nosy neighbor tactic that will slowly break them of their bad habit may be to (deliberately) stop over and ask them for something or just ask a question about their lives every time you catch them peeking at you from the window or watching you and your college buddies enjoying a barbeque in the backyard. For example, asking them for mundane items like milk, sugar, salt, butter or even extra lawn chairs every time you catch them snooping will quickly become too risky of a proposition for those who would rather just secretly watch your wife sunbathing on the porch from their kitchen window instead of actually talking to you.
4. The Creepy Mannequin
If you can’t beat ’em … join ’em right? Well, kind of. What better way to counter a nosy neighbor who’s always peeking out of their window then to employ the services of a used department store mannequin that you dress up and position in your living room window. Essentially, you set up your creepy mannequin to peek out of your window — basically mirroring the daily activity of your neighbor. If done correctly, your neighbor will spend the entire day (and possibly night) playing peek-a-boo with your JC Penny mannequin who will inevitably win this insane staring contest.
5. The Traveling “For Sale” Sign
This prank will require willing participation and collaboration from at least three of your neighbors in order to pull off successfully. Because nosy neighbors naturally love to gossip and spread rumors–nothing starts off a good ol’ gossip avalanche than a brand new “For Sale” sign in your yard. Why are they moving? New job in another state? Did they lose their job? Marriage problems? Divorce? Here, the traveling “For Sale” sign prank involves you acquiring a fake Real Estate “For Sale” sign and rotating it amongst your other neighborhood co-conspirators so that it shows up at a different home on your side of the street every two days or so. This prank will eventually drive your nosy neighbors certifiably insane and certainly cause further unsolicited prying and inquiry. But at this point…it will be well worth the investment and time. Who knows? After months of mental jousting with your nosy neighbor, the next (legitimate) “For Sale” sign you see in the future may be theirs. Mission accomplished.
Written by Goombay Tally Staff | Goombay Tally Blog | Contact us below or at [email protected] for comments, writing and advertisement requests.
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How To Go “Door Hunting” While on Vacation in Hydra, Greece.
Written by Scott McGinnis | Goombay Tally Blog | Hydra, Greece Vacations
For those who are lucky enough to plan a vacation to the beautiful island of Hydra, Greece this summer–a sleepy, majestically nestled harbor town in the Aegean Sea; you know that one of the predominant and mesmerizing characteristics of the island is the old world architecture, incredible Renaissance-like charm, and simplistic lifestyle that will immediately surround you once you arrive. By the way, if you haven’t yet made the decision to put Hydra on your vacation list, please stop what you’re doing and read the hugely popular Goombay Tally article, 11 Reasons Why Hydra, Greece Needs To Be on Your Vacation List Immediately.
Regardless, here’s an interesting vacation “must-do” project for you while you’re enjoying the island…I truly believe you and your family will thoroughly enjoy this adventure…especially if you need an alternative activity to the lazy Hydra beach excursions, top-notch food and restaurants, and shopping in the harbor. Moreover, if you happen to be a professional photographer, you will totally crush this project and we certainly invite you to share your results on our website.
Once you step foot off of the Aegean Flying Dolphin hydrofoil from the port of Piraeus, close to Athens, and onto the harbor of Hydra, you will quickly notice many complex labyrinths of steep and narrow streets coupled with fantastic doors that adorn the small, quaint houses throughout the island. Mostly colorful…often rustic…some artistic…you will absolutely love the bright colors, bold hues and detailed granularity of something so basic and mundane as a ….”door.”
Mind you, an object that is so inherently functional and generally non-impressive as a door, would typically go unnoticed and completely ignored in most towns and cities in the United States.
But not on Hydra.
On this island, (at least in my eyes) doors also serve as functional artwork. Exhuming a burst of individual personalities on cobblestone alleys, much like canvases on display in an outdoor gallery; I tend to believe that each door has a unique story to tell. A quiet and visual display of their history–or the life of those who dwell on the other side.
While on vacation in Hydra, I made sure that I reserved at least one of my vacation days to walk throughout the town and take pictures of the wonderfully colorful doors and to carefully archive as many as I could. As you can imagine, not every door on the island is necessarily “beautiful” (pers se) or even interesting; but that aspect simply adds to the challenge of finding the ones that will give you pause and cause you to simply gaze in admiration.
Believe me, when you see it … you will know it. There will invariably be one there that personally resonates with your soul.
So I’m certain that some of the island residents truly thought that I was a disturbed tourist, but I was mildly obsessed with the “doors of Hydra” and I enjoyed every minute I spent studying and admiring them, or “door hunting” — as my family now refers to it. In fact, I would like to officially submit the term “door hunting” — by definition: the “studying, admiring, and archiving of beautifully built doors” to the good folks at Webster’s Dictionary for consideration. I’m sure they’ll be amused.
I’m also certain the friendly residents of Hydra are used to tourists scampering up and down the mountain, photographing Hydra doors as an activity and art form. I suppose that no one really minds the attention that their doors receive on Hydra, as long as you respect the residents’ privacy and personal property–a rule that can be respected and understood in any language.
So in the interim, I encourage you to finish booking your vacation on Hydra and please share your Hydra “door hunting” pictures on this site when you return.
Written by Scott McGinnis | Goombay Tally
Your Kids Will Give You The Dinosaur Look When You Tell Them This.
Written by Corinne Dodd | Goombay Tally | Mom Humor
I can remember sitting at the dinner table and intently listening to my father talk about the times of his youth and the “struggle” — if you will — that his generation had to endure. I’m certain you’ve heard similar stories from your parents or grandparents as well. Having to walk 20 miles (through blizzards, hurricanes, and tornadoes) to get to school. Waking up at 3 o’clock in the morning to feed the chickens and milk the cows before heading to school. Having to share one measly can of “Spam” and a sleeve of Ritz crackers with their 15 brothers and sisters for dinner. Invariably, we all sat there in awe, amazement, and also horror at the seemingly barbaric and substandard conditions that our parents had to endure.
Let’s admit it … comparatively, our parents made our generation appear to be soft, weak, and undeservingly entitled. O.K., yes… in many instances, I really can’t argue with them. I get it…we’re talking about the generations that stormed the beaches of Normandy against well entrenched–crack German forces or crawled through the hot, snake-infested jungles of Vietnam.
Now that my husband and I have our own little people in the house, there are indeed more than a few occasions at the breakfast and dinner table that quickly bring me back to our conversations with my father. So now that the roles are reversed, though interesting…I don’t know if I like it much.
So last week my 5-year-old is patiently waiting for breakfast to be made and he begins his standard ramblings about Lightening McQueen, Star Wars, his pre-kindergarten teacher Mrs. Stevens, interesting commentaries on spiders, and his newest iPad app. Next, he throws me his first-ever “dinosaur” question.
“Momma, what was your favorite iPad app when you were a little girl,” he says in the most innocent, sweet voice a 5- year-old boy could ever conjure up. Here we go, I thought to myself.
“Um…baby, iPads didn’t exist when Mommy was a little girl,” I said in a matter-of-fact tone. My son stared at me blankly for about five seconds. I could see the wheels were spinning in his head and I astutely anticipated the follow-on questions accordingly. I was wrong.
“Oh…so you only had the “h-Pad” to play with when you were a little girl right Mommy?” he said.
Huh? “What’s a h-Pad honey?” I asked him with a puzzled look. He went on to explain that since there were no iPads when I was young, that I must have had a h-Pad because “h” comes before “i” in the alphabet. A 5-year-old’s logic right? I certainly wished that I could have said yes and left the conversation right there but I would have done good ol’ Dad a grave injustice by doing so.
Subsequently, I had to explain to my son that the technology that we currently enjoy wasn’t actually invented in the 1970s and that when I said that iPads didn’t “exist” when I was his age…I (really) meant that with the exception of the television, radio, Cabbage Patch Kids, Strawberry Shortcake dolls, Star Wars action figures (yep…I had three brothers), books, and board games…the balance of our entertainment and excitement existed (mostly) outdoors. Of course I explained all of this at the kindergarten or Sesame Street tone and level.
The stare that my son gave me next can only be described as a hybrid of extreme pity that you only reserve for a dying kitten or puppy and that look that you see kids use at the Smithsonian Institution’s Museum of Natural History as they walk past the Triceratops display.
I was now a dinosaur. Ouch.
Poor Mommy. How horrible life must have been for you without Netflix, Xbox game systems, a cellphone, and Roblox?
I could see that my son was now re-calculating everything that he thought he ever knew about me. iPads and Xbox was an obvious evolutionary overshoot in his mind now…he would have to lower the progressive bar a little…O.K.–well, a lot. Well, way lower than he would be able to limbo under for sure. He was rethinking the calculus.
“Mommy, did cars exist when you were a little girl?” my son now said in a hesitant voice.
“Yes dear…cars were around when your “old Mom was a little girl” I said. “But our cars were a little different back then,” I continued. I was prepared to explain to my son the quintessential differences, distinctions, and nuances of cars in the ‘70s compared to the high performance, computer-designed, computer-enabled, voice-activated, GPS-guided vehicles that we enjoy today.
However, before I could continue, my son quickly chimed in, “Oh, I know Mommy…when you were a little girl, you had to drive your cars while running with your feet…just like in The Flintstones right?” He began to laugh uncontrollably until he tumbled out of the kitchen chair and onto the floor.
And there you have it…there was my dinosaur connection with my kids ladies and gentlemen. My son definitely thinks I’m prehistoric. I laughed out loud and told him that he was so silly. Of course by then, my son’s attention moved on to much more important matters like “why don’t dogs use the toilet when they poop–like we do,” and “when will breakfast ready.”
This was only the beginning of these fascinating, yet demoralizing conversations that I had with my kids. In fact, (brace yourselves) the hits just keep coming now.
Honestly, as a parent, I’m really beginning to enjoy our “back in the day” talks now; just like my Dad did back in the day I’m sure. Moreover, I pray that my kids realize and appreciate just how blessed they really are today. To be alive during this incredibly exciting and innovative phase of human history.
Yes, I’m starting to get a true sense of my own mortality, but I’m also contemplating what type of conversations my kids will ultimately have with my grandkids.
I’m guessing that they would say something like this: “you kiddos have it sooooo easy these days…when I was your age, my father and mother would actually have to drive the car using something called a steering wheel.” Or “believe it or not, there was a time when we had to actually point a remote control device at our T.V.s to change the channel…instead of just talking to it,” and so on.
If you are a parent, the fun won’t just stop there. Get ready to hear the following questions as well…have fun with that:
- Did they have schools when you were a little girl (or boy)?
- Were airplanes invented when you were growing up?
- Did you live in a cave when you were growing up?
- What did they call Christmas a long time ago when you were little?
- Were there actually people in your T.V. a long time ago when you were little?
- Did you dress like Jesus when you were growing up as a child?
- Were you a cowboy or Indian (Native American…sorry) a long time ago when you were young.
Written by Corinne Dodd | Goombay Tally Blog
How Racism and Prejudice Still Saved Me $500.
Written by Andrew Brock for Goombay Tally Blog | www.goombaytally.com | Also Visit “Goombay Tally Blog” on Facebook | Racism in America
Let me be clear from the very beginning: There are absolutely no “winners” when referencing racism, bigotry, sexism, or prejudice in this country. More directly, there is no financial, moral, social, or intellectual advantage to be gained by anyone in the mist of a racist incident. The victim is belittled, marginalized, and demoralized when he or she is denigrated during an exchange. Conversely, the offender reveals their “true soul” and moral–even intellectual weaknesses during the engagement. For all the world to see.
O.K., yes…if a person’s civil rights are illegally infringed upon and the matter advances its way into the judicial arena, there indeed may be some form of financial compensation for the victim. But from a universal perspective…there is no “win”… just a person with a healthier bank account due to human ignorance. The court decision ultimately doesn’t compel the racist to love his fellow man…if anything, he or she is probably more of a racist after the legal ruling.
Again, the universe loses.
Yes, even in a nation that elected and re-elected a black President, we all know that racism is not only alive and well in America, but may indeed be gathering steady momentum.
Over the years, numerous journalists, social science specialists, and psychologists have successfully demonstrated the prevalence of racism and prejudice (specifically) in the marketplace and in the retail world as they designed social experiments that involved a black student who was initially prepped by the research teams and then sent into a clothing store as a fake shopper to pretend she is looking for an article of clothing. Subsequently, in many of these studies, you would see one, some, or all of the following reactions from the retail store employees:
- The fake (black) shopper was completely ignored by the store employees while shopping for clothes until they eventually left.
- The shopper was actually followed around the store by the employees as if they were suspected of stealing merchandise.
- Employees were noticeably curt with the shopper when they had a question about the price, size, or color of an article of clothing.
- If a purchase was made and the shopper paid with a check or credit card…cashiers frequently demanded to see some form identification. Mind you, in a world of identity theft and cyber crimes, not a bad thing right? But I think you know what’s going on right?
As you anticipated, the next step in the social experiment was to send in the fake white shopper to the same clothing store to see if there was a notable difference in how they treated her compared to the black shopper who strategically exited the store minutes earlier. Repeating the scenario in numerous shops, in most cases, the white shoppers had a completely different experience than their black counterparts. For example, the employees were generally more attentive to the white shoppers. They often displayed a more outgoing or upbeat demeanor when engaging the white shopper and were demonstrably more talkative and social with the white shoppers than with the black shoppers.
And yes…as you guessed, the white shoppers were scrutinized far less than the black employees were at the point of sale when they presented either a check or credit card. Yep, I know. Not earth shattering news here. Many of us have experienced the same thing, multiple times over.
So back to the article tagline…how did “racism” still save me $500? I’ll explain.
Like roughly 390,000 other black men in the United States today, I am married to a white spouse. Now during that time, interracial couples were definitely a semi-rare site in the state where we lived, however, we never really had any negative experiences to that point either. Many years ago, we noticed that our well-worn and abused television was on its last leg, so we decided to spend a little extra cash and purchase our first big screen television as a couple. Besides, our current television was a surviving artifact from my single years and honestly, I think she just wanted it out of the house.
We both decided on a certain electronics and appliances store that we wanted to target for our purchase, but because our work schedules were staggered, we were unable to meet up at the same time to make a collective decision on which television we both desired. So the new strategy was basically to “divide and conquer.” So both of us would visit the store independently and on the same day and compare notes (and prices) later at home. Through casual conversation, we both knew what each other was looking for in a big screen so the plan was set. I would visit the store first to take a look at which one I liked, and prioritized them based on features and affordability. My wife would stop by the store roughly three hours later and duplicate the process. Hey, wait a minute…does that scenario sound familiar?
After leaving work on our dedicated shopping day, I remember walking through the front door of the electronics store and immediately heading toward the television section to begin my research. Being a huge NFL fan, I’d been waiting a long time to purchase a decent television to watch the games…more specifically, my Dallas Cowboys. After looking at three televisions that had some potential, I began to realize a few things: not one salesperson in the store (and there were many) ever asked me if I had any questions or if they could assist me in any way. In fact, two of the employees never even looked up from their computers or reading material as I walked past them to get to the televisions.
Maybe they were all busy or tied up in administrative work today right? That possibility was soon shattered as I saw in my peripheral that a white customer walked to an adjacent big screen television and I observed one of the employees literally hop up and walk past me to ask the other customer if he had any questions.
Not one salesperson in the store (and there were many) ever asked me if I had any questions or if they could assist me in any way. In fact, two of the employees never even looked up from their computers or reading material as I walked past them to get to the televisions.
Not really wanting to make a big deal out the blatant snub, I looked at a few more televisions, took a few more comparative notes and finally asked one of the employees, who immediately looked like I was bothering him if my favorite big screen television was still on sale. He coldly answered no and that the sale ended yesterday…something about forgetting to remove the tag. End of conversation. I stuffed my notes into my back pocket and walked out.
Three hours later, my wife’s experience was patently different than mine.
When I finally met up with my wife at home following her visit to the electronics store, I asked her sarcastically, “How did it go?” With an excited and chipper voice she showed me her top television choice–ironically, and surprisingly, her number one big screen television pick was the exact same as mine. Over time, I’ve come to realized that married couples rarely agree on the same furniture style or electronics selections. This time we did.
“But wait…there’s more,” my wife said, sounding a little like an overly-excited infomercial spokeswomen. “If we purchased the television today, the manager said he would take $500 off the purchasing price and deliver it to us for free!” she continued. Now up to that point, I decided not to tell my wife about my experience at the electronics store–but now I was furious. Well, not too furious…we were getting a great deal mind you.
“Are you kidding me,” I said. “I walk in the store earlier and could barely get anyone’s attention; and you were able to get a deal, plus free shipping just for giggles?” I continued.
“Well, yeah…” my wife said looking sheepishly down at her notes now. “In fact, once I walked in the door, the manager greeted me and asked why I was in the store today…he was really nice,” my wife further explained. I continued to explain to my wife my experience there and she quickly realized what just happened. I could see that my wife was initially having a hard time understanding why I wouldn’t be treated the same as she would; but again, I guess that’s one of the reasons why I married her…she truly didn’t care about skin color or racial differences. But unfortunately in modern America, there are still those who not only see the differences, but despise them.
My wife further explained that knowing the television specifications, dimensions, and features that I was looking for in our purchase, she already sealed the deal with the manager and purchased the television at the store so we could take advantage of the reduced rate…in fact, they would be delivering it that night.
So at the end of the day, I felt ecstatic that I finally got the big screen television that I really wanted, and at a phenomenal price to boot; but I was also burning up inside.
Yep, I get it. Some may say that salesmen naturally give pretty, young, white women (or just women in general) more attention than men; regardless of race…but I knew in my heart of hearts that it was more than that. It was the “recognizable” age old racial invisibility and social animus that I’ve seen many times before. Once you experience it once, you can identify it forever.
So that’s the story of how racism still saved me $500 on our first big screen television. Am I still bitter? Yes, being treated like a second-class citizen always stings. Believe me, I appreciate the struggles of those who came before me even more so. But to put this all in perspective: America has come a”mighty long way” in terms of race relations, however, there will always be racism on this beautiful blue planet. Unfortunately, it is a resilient virus that will never fully be eradicated. You pray that its prevalence becomes marginalized over time but it will always be there in some form or fashion as societies continue to weave, melt, and clash.
Personally, I see racism and bigotry as a “karmic boomerang.” Once you launch it into the universe at another human being, it will come back to you eventually with a demand for recompense. Sometimes that restitution will be financial, sometimes it will be in the form of public reprimand and rebuke, but undoubtedly…and at a minimum, it will always require a small portion of your soul as payment.
Finally, instead of harboring ill feelings toward the electronics shop, I decided it would be a wonderful idea to write the store and manager a heartfelt thank you card for such a great deal on the flat screen television. Oh by the way, just to be cute, my wife included a picture of me and her standing in front of our new big screen television…cheesy smiles included.
Written by Andrew Brock for Goombay Tally Blog
7 Quick Tips to Help Deal with Today’s Bad News and Keep Moving Forward.
Written by Scott McGinnis for Goombay Tally Blog | www.goombaytally.com | 7 Tips to Help Deal with Today’s Bad News
Regardless of how beautiful and dreamy you think your life is right now, we all will invariably, and inevitably encounter some (seemingly) insurmountable challenges and trying times in the future.
Whether you completely tanked a speech right in front of your demanding and critical boss today–and that speech was suppose to help propel your career right into the stratosphere; not to mention that corner office with a window. Your wife of 13 years just told you that she wants a divorce. You just lost your job and don’t know how you’re going to keep the house and support your family. Last night you received a phone call from your brother that one of your parents is sick and only have a few months left. And the horrifying list continues. We’ve all been there in the past–or maybe you’re going through one of these crisis situations right now.
Many motivational speakers and mental health specialists may tell you: it’s not your existing situation or crisis that really matters right now, it’s how you deal with the situation that counts in the long run. I certainly agree. We also know the quintessentially debilitating aspect of a crisis is often that the person going through these events feels completely hopeless with little to no enlightenment or remedy in the near future. Essentially, we just don’t see an immediate or long-term way out of trouble.
“Life Isn’t Always Sunshine and Rainbows – At Times it Can Beat You to Your Knees…”
Life is not like a glossy, star studded Hollywood movie where the world’s problems are neatly diffused and resolved within two hours and the hero walks off into the sunset. Roll credits. Toss your empty popcorn bag and coke into the can as you leave. That certainly would be awesome … but typically not likely. In reality, a crisis cycle will probably look something like this instead:
- A horrible event happens.
- We experience the shock of the event.
- We deal with the event the best way we can given the coping mechanisms that we are personally equipped with (or lack).
- Those who lack effective coping mechanisms may do harmful things to themselves or others that initiates secondary and tertiary impacts which compel a negative spiral and unrecoverable state of dysfunctional behavior.
- Those with healthier coping mechanisms begin the recovery process and initiate positive–rehabilitative actions.
- The situation begins to improve either at a slow or advanced rate accordingly.
- We recover, to some extent, or at least move on with our lives.
…life is not like a glossy, star studded Hollywood movie where the world’s problems are neatly resolved and normalized within two hours and the hero walks off into the sunset.
People who are in crisis often find it hard enough just to crawl out of bed and stumble into the shower everyday, much less get themselves pumped up and motivated to face their problems and seek resolution. Depression will steal your appetite, obliterate your sleep cycle, make you lose interest in things that your are normally passionate about, and compel you to abandon your friends, family, and existing support system.
Some of Life’s Issues May Require Professional Help – Go See Them.
I will be the first to admit that I don’t have the credentials to pull you out of the funk you may be in right now, but I can share with you some quick, guerrilla strategies and tips that helped me wade through some certifiably cringe-worthy situations and crisis in my life.
First, if you are dealing with a problem that you don’t seem to be able to functionally and effectively manage, please stop reading this article right now and seek professional help from a clinician who is trained to provide you with the right level and degree of behavioral and psychological assistance. There are resources available to you right now, contact the following numbers if you need help:
- US Suicide Hotline – 800-784-2433
- NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group – 800-826-3632
- Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline – 630-482-9696
- Crisis Help Line – 800-233-4357
(Source: psychcentral.com, John M. Grohol, Psy.D.)
I’ve simply listed some quick, actionable strategies that at times may seem superficial or even silly, but have helped me muster through some tough times. That said, the absolute best advice I can give you when you’re dealing with hard times, is to talk to someone…don’t hide from it and don’t pretend everything is O.K.
Here we go:
1. Starbucks and a Buddy.
Call a family member or friend right now and go have coffee. This is a great opportunity to talk about your issues. Additionally, he or she may have valuable and insightful perspectives on your issue that you’ve never even thought of. Conversely, hiding in your apartment with the curtains drawn and the lights turned off will probably lower your electric bill next month, but won’t do anything for your mental and emotional well-being right now. Moreover, dealing with your demons alone or drowning yourself in alcohol or drugs is the last thing you need.
2. Read the “Good Book”.
O.K., this is not the part in the post where we debate the existence of God or whether Christianity or Islam is the path to true happiness and enlightenment. I’m just sharing helpful tips that worked for me. If Buddhism is your spiritual remedy during tough times…more power to you. Regardless of your religious affiliation, the Bible presents incredibly comforting words of encouragement and hope that will help change your immediate perspective on life. Here’s a few passages that have helped me:
- Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and mountains quake with their surging.
- Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
If you don’t actually own a Bible, “there is an app for that.” Just download “Bible” app from the Apple App Store or any number of other Bible apps for your particular device.
3. Listen to Awesome Inspirational Speeches.
Love it or hate it, You Tube can serve as an incredibly helpful resource for motivational speeches or excerpts from world renown speakers like Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Linda Larsen, Colette Carlson, Joel Osteen, Dr. Eric Thomas (The Hip Hop Preacher), and many more. A number of these speeches are set to dramatic orchestral music and will stir your soul and ignite your spirit during rough patches in your life. Listening to these inspiring speakers will get you pumped up and ready to fight.
4. Be Grateful. Write Down 10 Things You’re Thankful For.
Yes, it sounds stupid, but when I found myself in a bad situation some years ago, my mentor at the time told me to sit down with a sheet of paper and write 10 things that I’m grateful for in my life right now. Obviously this can be a daunting task when you feel like your world is literally collapsing around you. Yep, initially, this will feel counter-intuitive, and frankly, counterproductive.
However, if you actually do this simple task, you will soon discover that regardless of your current situation, God has given you infinitely more in the form of family, friends, health, and spiritual wealth than life appears to be “stealing” from you right now. Your perspective will begin to right-size itself. In a few weeks, you will find that your list will grow exponentially as your fears begin to diminish.
5. Watch The “Rocky Balboa” Motivational Speech Every Morning.
Yes, I admit that I’m that cheesy guy who watches hours of Rocky reruns during Christmas break. I love the enduring story of the underdog overcoming incredible odds and a lack of God-given talent to ultimately succeed in life. To many, Rocky symbolizes the common person coming from humble beginnings and a limiting and disadvantaged environment to prove that shear determination and grit will inevitably shatter the odds and ultimately level life’s playing field.
I invite you to listen to Rocky’s powerful interchange with his son in the movie Rocky Balboa (2006), where his son tries desperately to convince his father not to go through with his upcoming and ill-advised boxing match. I dare you not to walk away feeling ready to take on the world. It still gives me chills every time I hear it today.
6. Run Forest, Run.
No…you’re probably thinking I mean get “out of dodge”, move to Mexico, and run away from your problems. Instead, I’m referring to (literally) grabbing your Reebok or Nike running shoes and stepping on the treadmill or running trail. Why? Specialists believe that running, or exercise in general, promotes the release of the feel-good chemicals called endorphins.
Much like a natural antidepressant, running assists your brain in holding on to mood-boosting neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine. In fact, Runnersworld.com recommends “running in quiet green spaces instead of on crowded streets…” trust me, you will feel 100 times better and running will help dissipate some of the fog and help provide you with some emotional clarity when you need it most.
7. Study How High-Achievers Overcame Debilitating Adversity.
Abraham Lincoln, arguably one of our greatest presidents, was born into poverty, lost eight elections, experienced two failed businesses, and literally suffered a nervous break down before ultimately winning the Presidency. Famous inventor Thomas Edison was known for saying “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Imagine if Edison gave up on his telephone invention after his third or fourth failure. Heck, you wouldn’t be reading this post on your iPhone 7 right now would you?
There was a time when hugely successful motivational speaker Dr. Eric Thomas was broke, homeless and eating out of trash cans for three years before he turned his life around. Now he probably makes more in a month than the Goombay Tally staff makes in a year. More importantly, “E.T.” is motivating people all over the world to be better, and achieve more In life.
Bottom-line: failure and mediocrity is not an experience just reserved for unknowns like you and I. Some of the planet’s most inspiring and talented geniuses have been to “hell and back” in their unrelenting pursuit of greatness. Remember, the problem that you are going through right now is only temporary. However, your reaction to this challenge will greatly impact the trajectory that your life will take starting today…starting right now. Get up. Move forward. Do the same thing again tomorrow morning. Things will get better, and you will be shaped and molded into a better version of yourself because of your tested resiliency and perseverance.
Written by Scott McGinnis for Goombay Tally | goombaytally.com | Share us on Facebook and Twitter